Severe Poisoning

So I have just been poisoned by some Maryland chocolate chip cookies, it is important to name the company (that I’ll be suing) because this was the absolute worst life threatening poison I have had for ages with crushing unbearable pain and uncontrolable drooling. These people are just plain evil, there is no other way to describe them. As per feel free to pop round for a biscuit if you don’t believe me.

Oh and Boris, I don’t care if you have a pro Russian blackmailing prick pulling your strings. As far as I’m concerned the buck stops with you!

I will see you in court, with the others.

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