Eggs

I have talked a lot about the poisons they put in my food, today it’s the turn of eggs

There is a long history of them poisoning my eggs which can vary from mild to life threatening.

After getting poisoned, if I examine the shells of the remaining eggs, I see four small indentations, now a tell tale sign.

Anyway I was abstaining for eggs for ages then I bought six randomly from Morrisons, examined and ate the first two no problem then just ate the third and it nearly killed me. That was a few months ago and I vowed never to eat eggs again until this is over and the criminals are behind bars.

On Sunday I was lured into farmfoods and as I entered the eggs were piled high as if to tempt me. I then decided to protest about my previous near lethal poisoning. Obviously I won’t criminalise myself but the security services know what I mean and every one else (apart from the occasional baffoon) can work it out. Anyway I had to first put some eggs in my basket to make it look like an accident. So if my enemies are waiting on me eating any of these eggs, then you better make yourself comfy.