Corona Virus Symptoms

When eating my dinner earlier, I was alarmed to notice that I couldn’t smell or taste anything which I had heard is a symptom of this alleged virus. Then I remembered that my supplies were so far depleted that I was eating just spaghetti and boiled mince with nothing else, not even salt. Wanting to keep my last two bits of stale bread for this evening, I decided to test my taste buds with some jam straight from the jar. Unfortunately for my enemies the jam tasted almost as sweet as Theresa May’s resignation.